Feelings. Why do we need them? More importantly, why do I have to deal with them? Life has a funny way of taking you through things at, what seems to be, the worst time ever. When you feel like you have it all figured out…you turn around to find out that you really don’t.
Well here I am. One week away from doing something that is absolutely amazing and terrifying at the same time. Moving. Well sort of. More like temporary relocation. When we moved to England, I originally started to look for work and when that didn’t work out I decided to be a SAHM and get into volunteering. I also decided to go back for my Masters. I mean, I didn’t have anything else really to keep me occupied. Silly me didn’t think about the possibility of having to intern in a foreign country as a health major. After a year of taking classes, my school told me that I’d have to find a site on our military base or come to the states.
Seriously, like for real? Nah. Nope. *Screams*
I immediately went into panic mode. I regretted every accomplishment that I had made so far over this one email. It didn’t make the situation any less real and to make things worse we were in the middle of a deployment. My broken family was going to enter 2018 broken yet again. (cue sad music)
Live your dreams they say, it will be great they say…ummmm maybe…
I mean who in their right mind would intentionally break apart their family for such selfish reasons. *raises hand* Although that might not be completely true, the fact remains that the girls and I will spend January to August away from daddy. Away from our newfound home, away from our new friends, away from the new life that we had just got settled into for the last year. Mind you, most of our friends will leave during our time away.
Just icing on the cake, I guess.
I feel a million and one emotions the closer we get to our flight departure. Sadness, loneliness, excitement, optimism, freedom, depression, but mostly blah.
We will miss another anniversary, another birthday, and all the other important events and milestones in between. Truth be told, I have no idea why this feels so hard, we have done countless deployments. We have learned to cope.
This just doesn’t feel the same. Not the same at all…
For fear of falling into a hole of depression I decided to make a plan using some power words.
Here are 3 R’s that I will implement during this transition to lessen the sting:
REST – I will be intentional in not overcrowding my schedule as I go into “single mom” mode.
REALIGN – I will place importance in aligning my energy with the tasks for that day to avoid unnecessary stress.
REFOCUS – I will focus on the great things happening while refusing to dwell on things I cannot control. (one of my greatest challenges)
When we begin a new journey, it is important to remember that with every challenge faced there will be a testimony revealed. Consciously make the best of the circumstances presented by properly planning and preparing for the days ahead.